Diagnosing depression triggers different emotions in different people. After your doctor or psychologist gives you the news, it is a good idea to seek support from family, friends, or others in your community. They may be able to help you process your feelings.
“For some people there is relief. Here’s an answer that explains what’s wrong with you. It’s a disease and very treatable, ”said Ashley J. Smith, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist in Kansas City, MO, and co-founder of the Peak Mind psychological center.
Other people struggle with the diagnosis, she says. You may be thinking, “’I have depression. What does that mean for me? Am I faulty or broken? ‘”
Finding out that you have a mood disorder can be hard to hear. You might even feel ashamed if your family or community rejects mental illness, says Jameca Cooper, PhD, consulting psychologist in St. Louis and president and clinical director of Emergence Psychological Services.
“A lot of my patients say their families don’t really believe in mental health issues like depression or anxiety,” says Cooper. “Sometimes they refer to baby boomer parents who say, ‘Just suck it. Get over it. Just give yourself enough rest. Just work harder. ‘ … Many families see mental health as a weakness. “
Some people come from communities that don’t believe in mental health diagnoses, she adds. “There is no fear, depression or schizophrenia in their home countries. You could call it another name and lump them all together. “
Smith, who is a member of the Anxiety & Depression Association of America, recommends educating yourself and your loved ones about depression by checking out reputable sources such as the ADAA website. “There [are] Myths out there and you need to understand, “Here is the real science, here is what we actually know about it.” And that can help dispel some of those myths and criticisms, ”says Smith.
“‘We have to work hard to explain to people that mental illness has nothing to do with your character,” she adds. “It has nothing to do with your worth as a person, your intelligence. It’s neurobiological. “
Whom to ask for support
If your family and close friends accept that mental illness is serious health problems, talk to them about your diagnosis of depression, say Cooper and Smith.
“We need strong support. We need healthy relationships. And you need that more than ever when you’re depressed, ”says Smith. “Being open with the people in your life helps maintain these connections, which is a protective factor.”
Talking openly could also help them understand what you went through when depression became irritable, negative, or uncommunicative, she says. That way they can encourage you and help you get through your treatment.
Tell loved ones what kind of support they need, Cooper says. Try to be specific. Maybe instead of making frequent calls to get back to you, all you need is understanding and patience. Or maybe you would appreciate an occasional hand with specific tasks, like cooking dinner or having someone pick the kids up from school.
If you’ve heard your loved one make fun of or disregard mental health issues in the past, you can still try to tell them about your diagnosis. But you might want to look elsewhere for guidance and understanding, says Cooper.
You can also connect with people outside of your family and friends. A local or virtual support group for depression is a good option. There you can meet people who understand what you are going through and they may be able to give you tips that may have helped them. A support group can be especially helpful when other things in your life play a role in your depression, like serious health or ongoing grief over personal loss, Cooper says.
If you are religious, you can also make your belief a part of your healing process. For example, some churches offer support groups and various types of counseling, Cooper says.
Finding support specifically with depression is important, but you can also benefit from indirect emotional nudges. For example, you could volunteer for something you feel good about, Smith says. “Finding purpose in engaging with other people when doing important activities can actually help manage some symptoms of depression,” she says.
Physical activity is a great way to manage depression, she adds. “A gym or exercise can also provide that sense of community and support while also enabling that exercise.”
As you grapple with your diagnosis and find emotional support, work closely with your doctor or
or mental health providers. Ask them what treatments and lifestyle changes might help you feel best. “There are many different ways that you can become depressed,” says Smith. “So that also means that we have many different treatment options that can work.”
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