What I need you to learn about residing with HIV

Richard Hutchinson: HIV affects everyone

I was diagnosed in June 2015. It was shocking. There was a moment when I stopped breathing.

As a health professional, I have provided a lot of health education and counseling for other black men with HIV. I thought of their stories, their courage, and the way they got through their diagnosis. Although I was scared, I felt blessed by all the shoulders of the people I could stand on.

The support from my friends has been amazing, but it hasn’t always been an easy journey. I already have so many things on my back. I am young, I am black, I am gay and I have HIV. And the world is full of stigma.

In the black community, HIV is even more stigmatized, which is reinforced by the values ​​of the black church. Sex and sexuality are demonized. When you are gay, your sexuality becomes even more demonized.

People think this is a disease for gay men, but HIV affects everyone. Anyone in the world can become infected with HIV. We’re all in danger so we should talk about it.

Another misconception is that people with HIV are promiscuous. We are seen as sexual deviants. This is a label that many of us have to wear and internalize. But that is often not our lived experience.

I think a lot of people believe that you can tell when someone has HIV, but we no longer live in a time when people with HIV are dying. With advances in biomedical research, people like me are living longer. There are people in their fifties, sixties, and seventies living with HIV.

Then there are the relationship problems. People with HIV may be in the headspace of “Nobody will love me” or “I have to date people with HIV to find love”. I am undetectable which means my viral load is low which means I cannot pass HIV on to you.

The treatment works. Pre-exposure prophylaxis, or PrEP, the medicine people take to prevent HIV, works. I dated people on PrEP and I had sex with people on PrEP. They have retained their HIV negative status.

The work I do with my organization, He is Valuable Inc., grew out of my HIV diagnosis. Our mission is to identify, empower, and celebrate the worth of queer black men through anti-stigma campaigns and other programs.

I want people to know that HIV is a matter of social justice and human rights. If we all work together, we can really get rid of this thing. We all have a role in ending this.