When Orion Lyonesse becomes depressed, she turns into a hermit. She doesn’t want to leave the house (not even to pick up the mail) and breaks off contact with her friends and family.
“The more alone I am, the deeper the depression gets,” said Lyonesse, an artist and writer based in Lake Stevens, Wash., In an email to WebMD. “I don’t even want to cuddle my cats!”
Avoiding social contact is a common pattern you may notice when you fall into depression. Some people skip activities they normally enjoy and isolate themselves from the world. Others turn to alcohol or junk food to hide their pain and unhappiness.
Depression traps vary from person to person, but what they have in common is that they can serve to make your mood worse and continue a vicious cycle. Here are six behavioral pitfalls that often accompany depression – and how to avoid them while you and your doctor and therapist work to get back on track.
Trap # 1: Social Withdrawal
Social withdrawal is the most common tell-tale sign of depression.
“When we are clinically depressed, there is a very strong urge to withdraw and disconnect from others,” says Stephen Ilardi, PhD, author of books like The Depression Cure and associate professor of psychology at the University of Kansas. “It turns out to be the exact opposite of what we need.”
“With depression, social isolation typically makes the illness and our health worse,” says Ilardi. “Social withdrawal intensifies the brain’s stress response. Social contacts help to slow them down. “
The solution: Gradually counteract social withdrawal by reaching out to your friends and family. Make a list of the people in your life you want to reconnect with and start planning an activity.
Trap # 2: rumination
A major component of depression is brooding, which is about thinking about and thinking about issues like loss and failure that make you feel worse.
Brooding is a toxic process that leads to negative self-talk such as, “It’s my own fault.
“There is a saying, ‘When you are on your own mind, you are on enemy territory,'” says Mark Goulston, MD, psychiatrist and author of Get Out of Your Own Way. “You leave this thought open and the danger is to believe it.”
Brooding can also lead to neutral events being interpreted negatively. For example, when shopping for groceries, you may find that the person at the checkout is smiling at the person in front of you, but is not smiling at you, making you perceive this as slightly.
“When people are clinically depressed, they usually spend a lot of time and energy rehearsing negative thoughts, often over long periods of time,” says Ilardi.
The solution: focus your attention on a more exciting activity like getting involved or reading a book.
Trap # 3: self-medication with alcohol
Turning to alcohol or drugs to escape suffering is a pattern that can accompany depression and usually causes your depression to worsen.
Alcohol can sometimes relieve a little anxiety, especially social anxiety, but it has a depressing effect on the central nervous system, says Goulston. It can also spoil your sleep.
“It’s like a lot of things we do to cope with a bad feeling,” he says. “They often make us feel better in the short term, but in the long run they hurt us.”
The solution: speak to your doctor or therapist if you notice that your drinking habits are making you feel worse. Alcohol can interfere with antidepressants and anxiety drugs.
Trap # 4: skip exercise
If you’re the type of person who enjoys going to the gym on a regular basis, getting off a series of workouts can signal that something is wrong in your life. The same goes for sharing activities – like swimming, yoga, or ballroom dancing – that you once enjoyed.
If you are depressed, it is unlikely that you will keep up with a regular exercise program, although it may be exactly what the doctor ordered.
Exercise can be tremendously therapeutic and beneficial, says Ilardi. Exercise has powerful antidepressant effects because it increases serotonin and dopamine levels, two brain chemicals that often go down when you’re depressed.
“It’s a paradoxical situation,” says Ilardi. “Your body is capable of physical activity. The problem is, your brain is unable to get you to do it.”
The Solution: Ilardi recommends finding someone you can trust to help you initiate the workout – a personal trainer, coach, or even a loved one. “It has to be someone who understands, who won’t nag you, but actually gives you that prompt, encouragement, and accountability,” says Ilardi.
Trap # 5: Looking For Sugar Highs
If you’re feeling down, you may feel like eating sweets or junk foods that are high in carbohydrates and sugar.
Sugar does have mild mood-enhancing properties, says Ilardi, but only temporarily. Blood sugar levels drop within two hours, which has a mood-enhancing effect.
The solution: Avoid sugar highs and the inevitable post-sugar crash. Eating healthily is always advisable, but your mood can now more than ever afford to take the blow.
Trap # 6: Negative thinking
When you’re depressed, you tend to think negatively and keep yourself from trying new things.
You could say to yourself, “Well, even if I did A, B, and C, I probably wouldn’t feel better and it would be really a chore, so why try at all?”
“It’s a huge trap,” says Goulston. “If you run forward and expect a negative result that will make you stop trying at all, it will quickly quicken and deepen your depression.”
The solution: don’t get too attached to gloomy expectations. “You have more control over doing and not doing than over the outcome of actions,” says Goulston. “But there is a much greater chance that these results will be positive if you do.”
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