Schizophrenia and Relationships

Sister Lucinda Claghorn was 17 when she had her first psychotic episode. “My family left me and turned me over to a local psychiatric clinic,” recalls Claghorn, a secular Franciscan nun in Mobile, AL. She was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and was admitted to the AltaPointe Health Mental Hospital. “The AltaPointe staff knew my situation and accepted me. You were family to me. “

With their help, the 67-year-old Claghorn has come a long way. She has degrees in criminal justice administration and psychology. And in 1989 she took the vow to become a Catholic nun – something she wanted to do since she was seven. Some AltaPointe employees attended the ceremony.

One of the more difficult things to do with schizophrenia is the difficulty of building close relationships with family, friends, and romantic partners. However, studies show that strong social bonds that provide emotional and medical support can promote recovery. They can also help relieve symptoms over the long term and possibly prevent further psychotic episodes.

Dealing with stigma and isolation

Schizophrenia is a serious mental disorder that occurs when your brain has a chemical imbalance. You may find it difficult to express your feelings and thoughts and to convey them effectively. Symptoms can also include hallucinations, delusions, and disorganized language.

The stigma or negative labels sometimes associated with people with schizophrenia, such as “lazy” or “unmotivated,” can act as a barrier, says Krista Baker, clinical director of outpatient programs for schizophrenia at Johns Hopkins Bayview Medical Center.

Claghorn knows how it is. “My family never liked me. They never accepted my schizophrenia. For them, I was just playing or trying to get attention, ”she says.

Isolation can also be a problem. Baker says schizophrenia could make you “talk less and want less social contact”. This can intensify the battle to form bonds.

As a first step in breaking down the barriers, Baker says, “It’s important not to hold the person responsible for their illness.”

Instead, families or support systems can help people with schizophrenia stay stable by helping them develop social skills and receive necessary treatment.

The benefits of supportive relationships

When you have schizophrenia, improving your social skills and building lasting relationships can be difficult. But with effort and proper treatment, it can be done.

One way to build these skills is to join a support group where you can meet people who understand and help what you are going through.

Nora Baylerian, 56, group leader for Schizophrenics Anonymous (SA) in Royal Oak, MI, says treating schizophrenia is no different than treating disease. “It’s a disease. Just as diabetics need their insulin, so do we need our psychiatric treatment. “But she says SA group meetings went above and beyond that and helped her make good connections and increase her self-esteem.

Sometimes it can really pay off to be out there. When 54-year-old John Dunn went back to college after a few psychotic episodes, he decided to go to a psychological rehabilitation center to make friends and get support through the difficult process. Dunn says he has avoided romantic relationships up until this point. But there he met the woman who would become his wife.

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“She asked me on my first date. That’s why I eventually married her: because she was one of the first girls to show interest in me, ”said Dunn, a Michigan-born and aspiring writer who was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder at age 26.

“I found a deep love for her over the years. It wasn’t a really romantic situation. We really have to be good friends. … She supported me when I was sick and I supported her when she was sick. “They have been together for over 11 years now.

Support doesn’t always have to come from family, friends or romantic partners. Claghorn credits her ability to live alone and alleviate symptoms to her trained psychiatric service dog, a Chihuahua named Millie.

“She lets me know when I’m hallucinating. If she barks when I hear people talking, then I know it’s real. If she doesn’t bark and I hear people talking, then I know it’s a hallucination. Then I have to speak to my treatment team, ”says Claghorn.

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Before Claghorn got a service dog, he needed psychiatric treatment every 6 months or so. But in the 13 years she had Millie, she only had one episode.

In addition to a reality check, says Claghorn, Millie has “crept into her heart” and given her a “sense of intent”.

When your loved one has schizophrenia

It can be difficult to form strong bonds with someone with schizophrenia. However, you can do the following:

Learn. The best way to build a relationship is to learn about the person’s illness first, says Sandy Dimiterchik, director of community engagement at the Schizophrenia and Related Disorders Alliance of America, who suffers from schizophrenia herself. Learning about the condition can help you understand what it means for someone to live with it and what types of symptoms they may have.

Listen. It can help people with schizophrenia share their problems and frustrations, which can lead them to the right type of treatment. “Listen to them when they have symptoms. Be compassionate and help them in any way you can, ”says Baylerian.

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Give support. Dunn says that relationship building can be as simple as “show compassion, empathy, and act on it.”

Make yourself available in any way you can. Emotional support and encouragement can help people be open to treatment options and make progress with their condition.

“Support where they are and ask questions they can answer,” says Dimiterchik. “I have a close relationship with my sister and brother because we do things as a family. They are always available for conversation and take pride in me for the steps I have taken to improve my life. “

Engage. Acting early can help a lot, says Baker. “Generally (people with schizophrenia) set patterns at the onset of symptoms. The unfortunate thing is that when you set patterns, it’s hard to break them later, ”she says. “If we intervene early, we’ll keep them in touch with friends. We will keep her in touch with her family. That way, they won’t isolate themselves in their room, just take their medication and watch TV. “

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She encourages families to “have a conversation” about anything they want to talk about. This can help build social skills.

Dimiterchik says that a little effort can go a long way: “Try to get loved ones to do things to you, even when they’re watching a movie on TV.”

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Practice self-care. Caring for people with mental health problems can take a toll. Baker says it’s important to find time to take care of yourself as well. Consider joining support groups that focus on families and caregivers of people with schizophrenia.

At the end of the day, to create a lasting and meaningful bond with someone with schizophrenia, Baker says, look beyond the disease.

“It’s important for people to remember that people with schizophrenia are like all of us, with struggles like the rest of us. They shouldn’t be treated any differently. “

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