It takes a lot of time, effort, and patience to be a good parent, especially if your child has ADHD. But even though millions of children have the disorder, misconceptions about it are common. Some parents of children with ADHD want you to know.
Don’t call my child a “bad child”.
ADHD causes some children to act hyperactive or impulsive, have difficulty following instructions, or have trouble controlling their emotions. Children with such symptoms do not make a mischievous decision to act or to defy authority. You live with a brain disorder.
“It really hurts when other parents think our kids are just ‘bad kids,'” said Yakini Pierce, mother of two and global product manager in Cleveland, OH. Pierce’s two children – daughter Reyna, 12, and son Rickey, 10 – have ADHD.
She says that when a child with the disorder is having a breakdown or is frustrated in the moment, “They are really trying to communicate and they just don’t know how. Once they learn, they go to a whole different level. “
“Bad parenting” does not cause ADHD.
Experts aren’t sure why some children get ADHD, but they believe genes play a big role. What we know for sure is this: It is a myth that the disorder occurs because of mistakes a mother or father makes.
“I think a lot of people see ADHD as that overdiagnosed label of bad parenting,” said Nicole Schlechter, a special education attorney in Hampshire, IL whose 11-year-old son Mason has ADHD, autism and anxiety. “It’s not a parenting issue, and I think that’s a big misconception about ADHD.”
Kirsten Hecht, PhD, scientist and researcher in Gainesville, FL, has an 11-year-old son with ADHD named Dmitry. “There’s a lot of parental shame that comes with it,” she says. “For example, you must have done something wrong.” Or, as another mother once told her, “You have to let him watch TV a lot when he was little.” I thought it didn’t make any sense.
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