Everyone is scared from time to time. Occasional anxiety is a normal response to uncertainty about what will happen next, be it in the next few minutes, days, or months.
Mental health experts define fear as fear of a threat that is still in your future. For example, thinking about a conversation you dread, your stomach may cramp up days before it happens. Your heart may race before an exam or presentation. You might lie awake at night worrying about catching COVID-19 in the grocery store.
It’s also normal to want to get rid of those uncomfortable gut feelings as soon as possible. But that approach can make you more anxious, says David H. Rosmarin, PhD, associate professor of psychology at Harvard Medical School in Boston.
“When you are worried about getting rid of your fear, you are signaling your nervous system that you need to worry more. And that makes your fear worse, ”he says.
Remember, if your anxiety persists and interferes with your daily life, you could have an anxiety disorder. If so, you may need treatment to overcome them.
Calm fear by accepting it
It’s not what people expect to hear. But one of the most effective ways to relieve occasional anxiety is to accept it, says Rosemary, who is also the founder of the Center for Anxiety in New York City.
“Ironically, if we let fear run its course in the moment without fighting it, it will ironically decrease. On the other hand, it’s typically fighting anxiety [triggers] Panic attack, ”he says.
“And if your only strategy is to distract yourself from your fear or avoid the things that cause it, you will always be afraid of it. It will always be the tyrant in the school yard because you never learned how to deal with it. “
As the Anxiety and Depression Association of America puts it, “The thoughts you resist persist.”
Instead, try these steps:
Recognize and understand your fear: Tell yourself, “My nervous system is running at full speed because I’m worried [thing X]. “
Don’t criticize yourself for these feelings: Instead, say, “This is my body’s normal, healthy response to circumstances that are complicated, stressful, or difficult. It’s okay to feel that way. “
Know that you can be afraid and still function well: “You can perform very well with fear, and you’ve probably done it before,” says Rosemary.
Think back to a time when you were fearful but still did what you had to do. Maybe you were scared before an event or meeting. But later someone said you did a great job.
Stop anxiety
If your anxiety feels overwhelming, these techniques can provide you with quick, short-term relief.
Do a reality check: Ask yourself these questions:
- On a scale from 1 to 100, how likely is it that what I’m afraid of will happen?
- Do I have good reason to believe that something will go wrong?
- Is there a chance I will worry too much?
Share your fear with someone you trust: Don’t avoid your anxious thoughts that can make them worse. Discuss it with a friend or family member who can help you put it in perspective.
Remind yourself that you are safe: “When fear sets in, you may find yourself feeling frightened or out of control as your mind races at all of these uncertain future disasters,” says clinical psychologist Debra Pillow, PhD, chief executive officer of the Light On Anxiety CBT Treatment Centers in the Chicago area.
“Ask yourself, ‘Is there any real danger ahead of me, or am I really safe at home and worried about something that is not a threat to me right now?'” She says. “This thinking can ground you in the moment and restart your brain and body to make you feel less anxious.”
Redirect the nerve energy: Fear can be like revving the engine, says licensed professional advisor Lisa Henderson. “Take control of that energy and put it elsewhere,” said Henderson, co-founder and CEO of Synchronous Health in Nashville.
“For example, if you’re sitting there worried, get up and walk or pace yourself,” she says. “Take a few minutes to clean something. Go outside for 5 minutes. Short bursts of activity can release this fearful energy. “
Take a mental break: “Use a guided picture app or just dream for yourself,” says Henderson. “A short mental vacation can break the cycle of anxious thoughts.”
To try this out for yourself, set a timer for a few minutes, close your eyes, and imagine a place where you feel peaceful or happy.
“Just letting your mind wander can work well when your fear comes from feeling controlled or managed,” says Henderson. “When your mind returns to its fearful thoughts, notice – without judgment – that it has happened and mentally tell your fear, ‘I’ll be with you in a moment.’ Then return to your daydream. “
You may prefer an app that walks you through your thoughts to help you reduce anxiety. Find relaxation or meditation apps that you like and try them out.
Just breathe: Breathe in and out slowly, steadily, and deeply for several breaths.
Change your position: “Whatever you do, you are doing the opposite,” says Pillow. “If you are bowed to worry, get up and take a Wonder Woman pose. If you are under a blanket, wash your face with cold water. When you change your sensory experiences, fear can “switch channels” you.
Use a mantra: A mantra can distract your mind from anxious thoughts that keep playing in your head over and over, Pillow says.
Two she likes are: “These thoughts are uncomfortable, but not dangerous” and “That too will pass.”
Put your fear on a schedule: Choose a 15-minute time slot during the day to reflect on your fears. “During this time, tell your brain to just go ahead and let the fearful thoughts come,” says Pillow. “But if you get up outside of this time, tell them, ‘I’m ready to hear you, but come back tomorrow at 3:00 p.m.'”
If fear keeps you awake, get up: “If you’ve been in bed for more than 5 minutes and are worried, get up, move to another room and write down your fears, ”says Pillow. “Go back to bed when you’re tired, but get up again when you’re scared. It may take a couple of nights to walk back and forth, but this exercise can teach your brain that your bed is for sleeping, not for fear. “
Do I Need Treatment For Anxiety?
There is a lot you can do on your own to reduce anxiety, but sometimes you need help. Psychotherapy and medication are the two main treatments for anxiety disorders.
Signs that it is time to speak to a psychologist include:
- Constant or almost constant fear
- Anxiety getting in the way of your daily activities, such as work or social life
- Afraid of things that don’t really threaten you
- Panic attacks
Check your health insurance plan to see what mental health benefits your plan covers. Then check a list of your on-network providers to find one to connect to.
“You don’t want to increase your fear by paying high expenses,” says Pillow.
Your general practitioner may also be able to recommend a psychologist experienced in treating anxiety and anxiety disorders.
Rosemary points out the importance of finding a provider that you click with and trust. He also says that therapy doesn’t have to be indefinite to be effective.
“An anxiety cognitive behavioral therapy course can have eight to ten sessions,” he says. “There is also data to suggest that people feel significantly better after just one session of therapy for panic disorder.”
Comments are closed.